Good morning Feedbak.com world
Craig Allen checkin in and why am I sayin good morning you ask?! Because its fuckn 3:35am and I jus got done talking to a friend about what I think is pretty much still a relevant issue but there is one topic that can outweigh it all.
I do want to make this disclaimer tho, i WOULD NOT type anything I’d be ashamed to say in public and usually I’m speaking on shit I personally have been through, witnessed or jus flat out had a conversation wit a friend and something came to mind. This is a thought that came to mind after talkn to one of my homegirls tonight…So this isn’t really a situation I PERSONALLY have been through…
With that said here is the situation: Say your out on the town wit ya girls or your homies, and you spot someone who caught your eye right. Well you go over to that person and yall keep it G or whateva. You get the number and everything is cool right? so weeks or however long it may be that yall talk you realize the particulars that his or her family has issues with “Interracial Dating”…Do you continue to talk to her or him? Do you just wait until you run into that person again Downtown? Do you even take it to the dinner or lunch level even?
Ima keep it G tho…From a personal experience of dating this really great girl in New York, I later found out her parents did not like me because I was black. Her parents told the girl “Im scared of what people will say about your future children” Mind you I was like 20 at the time DEFINITELY not lookn to have had any kids, so she was kinda reachn wit that one. But what i realized through that whole situation is that depriving someone of a chance at Real Love because their skin color doesn’t fit ur preference is NO BUENO and if you dont know what NO BUENO means, Cmon Son get it togetha its 2011 you should know what NO BUENO means ….
At the end of the morning, day and afternoon a real relationship needs parental foundation. I mean honestly what are the REAL ODDS of you thinking you will find the love of your life Downtown on top of your parents having a problem wit who you met Downtown because the color of their skin. The word LOVE is not used ENOUGH in my book, Love will outweigh your pride, thas just the bottom line. Love will see through your imperfections and make you realize you do need to grow in love. Love will allow you to know when your wrong and make mistakes and create betta relationships moving forward. Lastly “Race is a ongoing issue but so is REAL LOVE”
Live Love Learn
#Yeamon
I’ll answer with the following basic and flat sentence: “It depends”. The club/downtown environment is very complex in the sense that people decide to be part of it for many different reasons.
Some look to get laid. Some look for a potential gf or bf. Some wanna forget about their stressful lives. Some wanna celebrate. Some are just bored at home.
A relationship is a process and people go by different rules. But talkin’ in absolute by bringing up race issues does not leave any room for a conversation. Everything is not black or white (no pun intended). There’s a grey area too and if both parties are not willing to explore it based on specific case at hand, then, yes, you’re just wasting each other’s time.
You know I gotta chime in on this one. Love your posts, by the way Craig… got me thinkin..
Anyway, my history with this topic has included having an interracial marriage and child 20 years ago. Believe it or not, things have gotten a lot better in that area since then. I never set out to change the social norms or be a rebel in my family. I just allow my heart to guide me and have always felt it was most important that I be true to myself. I also have been dumped by a man after meeting his parents on Thanksgiving and not “winning” their approval due to my “social status”.
My parents and family mean the world to me and I am proud of my roots and heritage. However, I don’t feel I need parental or any other “approval” from anyone.
I do not say this in a spirit of disrespect. I just believe it has and always will be the young and open minded that push our species to higher evolutionary development 🙂
Thanks y’all for the Feedbak, mnltdancer i appreciate your words :)..Thanks again…
Craig and Bak, let the old head share his opinion. What I have seen over the years of dating both inside and outside my race, is it is going depend on where your relationship stands on its own first. To be clear on most parents – it has little to do with whether they like “you,” in most cases they don’t know you. It is their perceived fear of how the outside world will treat their loved one. Admittedly, being and Black Man, a lot of the world sees us as the top of the predatory chain (ie. very few will ever direct negative comments or aggression towards us as it pertains to dating outside our race. Exception being a group of Black woman – GROUP) I respect ANY parents fears and feeling the need to protect their own. I will protect my own with my life and quite honestly take yours to protect them. That being said, leaving the door open to be friends and be a part of a that persons life, leaves open the opportunity to be seen by the parents and family as an individual, not a representative of a race. I have experienced it a few times, and in a single meeting changed a view or perspective. Does not always happen, and does not go away as you get older. I have become more adept at not letting it cloud my judgement as it pertains to my immediate interest. Love is a powerful thing, but you must make room for it. Parents have (or should have) 1 main desire – that the children they bring into this world are safe, happy, healthy and LOVED.