I don’t mind a crowded bar. People are just hanging out waiting to be served because the bar is busy. But if it’s crowded because people are hanging at the bar even when they’re not ordering, that’s gotta be the most annoying thing ever! “But I don’t have anywhere to put my drink down.” I don’t care. Go find a table somewhere or use those hands of yours; your phone can stay in your pocket or your purse for a few minutes while you’re drinking. “But I’m talking to this hot girl.” Don’t care either. I’ll cock-block  you if you don’t move. For some reason, people like get into conversations at the bar. Maybe they want to stay close because they’ll order again within the next few minutes. Shots are OK because they’re quick. Otherwise, NO. If you’re not ordering or closing your tab, get the f**k away from the bar!!! You’re just wasting space!

As I quietly waited my turn to order a drink at the W, this girl was taking a good 3 minutes to close her tab because she was having a conversation with her friends at the same time about her day at work. Yes, and 3 minutes feels like an eternity when you’re standing at the same spot waiting for your turn. It felt so long, I thought I felt cobweb on my skin. Then it was almost my turn if it weren’t for these 3 middle-aged guys standing between me and the bar. I thought this should be quick, even if they each ordered individually. Well, this is the conversation I heard coming from this trio:

“I’m getting this round. What are you drinking?“
“I don’t know, go ahead and order for yourself. I’ll get my own.“
“Well, I don’t know either. What about you, man?“
“Same as you. Get me what you’re getting. I’m good with whatever.”
“Wine? Beer? Liquor? Just pick one“
“Well, why don’t just order for yourself. I’ll get the next round.“

This exchange between these grown ass men went on for 3 minutes. I think I am a pretty patient patron. I don’t want to irritate the people who serve me and I just wait for my turn. But I’m standing there losing it! The worst part is that I couldn’t call them out because I don’t want to be the typical angry black guy at a predominantly white bar. First of all, don’t go to the bar until you know exactly what you want. Secondly, if you’re ordering a round for your friends, they don’t all need to come with you to the bar. At most you may need to another pair of hands to help carry the drinks back, but that’s it. And lastly, a conversation like that one is only passable for girls. It’s annoying nonetheless but girls can get away with that type of indecisive chitchat at the bar. Only for 1 minute. Tops.

Finally they ordered and got their drinks. Then the dude paying for the round pulled out a rolled wad of $20 bills. And he licked his thumb and counted the money, flipping one bill at a time. He had just ordered a glass of wine, a beer and a vodka-something; there’s no way the tab is more than $30. Seeing him do that made me chuckle about the whole situation because I knew I had a story to tell. 

People would avoid so much drama, dropped glasses, rude patrons, pissed-off bartenders, and empty tip jars if theyhad common sense and respected some kind of bar etiquette. The nightlife experience would be so much better! Wait… What am I saying? Most of the people are getting drunk anyway… There’s no such thing as etiquette.

What about you? What are some of the things that bug you when you’re at the bar?

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