The last speaker, amp, and microphone has been packed away into hard cases and tucked into U-Haul trucks. The various promotional fliers and advertising literature have been swept from the streets and stripped from the walls. For yet another year, SXSW has come and gone, and in its wake left Austinites satiated with a plethora of artistic expression and experience. Personally, I can’t write/rant at length about the inner-workings and goings on about the week-and-a-half long festival that is SXSW, as I am from the Alamo city and don’t necessarily get the

[same] memo about what it is that residents of Austin get; thus I do not have the experience or the right to go into great detail about the awesomeness SXSW provides, but this magnanimous magnificence bestowed upon the capitol city is the foundation and stepping-stone for this rant.

Let me begin by stating that I love the Alamo City. There are many pros to residing in San Antonio; we have a world championship pro basketball team; we boast two national theme parks; we have a PGA tour golf course; our Riverwalk has been touted as one of the greater tourist attractions in the nation, etc, etc, etc. These reasons, and many more (of which I care less to outline here), are great reasons to rep the ‘Tone, but WHAT THE F@CK?! Who am I? A 65-year-old retiree?! A family of four on vacation to a Billy Graham seminar?! And there in lies the problem. Follow me on this.

SXSW, or an event like it, will NEVER happen in San Antonio—EVER! We are the bastard step-cousin to Austin, the Golden Child. Our scope of vision is WAAAY too small. We’re the nice guys—the overly too nice guys. Our city is way too dainty for something as magnificent and grandiose as SXSW. This is why our nightlife is garbage…or minimal at best. I mean, aside from the downtown, think about the hot-spots here in town…and where they are located (and by no means is downtown San Antonio considered hot-spot). Chicago Bar, Cross-eyed, Vegas Bar, Backstage (just to name a few)—all located in shopping centers. I mean, what? Really? Kona Grill’s reverse happy hour…a sushi restaurant. A F*CKING SUSHI RESTAURANT!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, we have a few live spots here in town where one can go to have a great time. Aside from those aforementioned, there are joints around town that could, essentially, put us on the map…but yet again, our scope of vision is sooooo small that we alienate ourselves into cliques, become selective of our clientele, thus shooting ourselves in the foot. We need more spots like The White Rabbit or Limelight. Like I said, there are spots, but they are few and far between.

Wait. (Pause)

Let me reemphasize what I just said. When I say few and far between, I mean WAAAAAAAAY far in between. Miles in between. As in, be-prepared-to-burn-a-tank-of-gas-in-a-night-if-you-decide-to-go-elsewhere in between.

We need our own 6th street.

Our city does not cater to the exuberant youth. The city is The Rock and we, as youthful night-lifers, are some random journeyman being asked, “What do you think of the nightlife in your city?” Only to be told, “It doesn’t matter what you think!”

And as I type these words, I realize that I’m no spring chicken…I’m not a newly, 21-year-old, who’s running the streets, stepping on his dick, nor am I the fresh, baby-faced 18 year old, trying to fake I.D. my way into a dance club…

Your boy is pushing 30, but 30 is the new 20, right? And if that’s the case, (as I feel it is) then where does a cat like myself go to imbibe and get his grown-man on? A place to vibe out to good music, good company, and good dancing?

Seemingly, Austin. But I say, “F#ck that!” Austin can keep SXSW; I’m down for that. They can even have all of the musical talent and shows that come from Houston, through Dallas, through them, only to skip over (one of the largest cities in the nation) San Antonio; I can abide that. But I refuse to abide my nightlife. I’m requesting a call-to-arms for all my fellow San Antonians to stand up and make this city ours. It’s time we make a name for ourselves. We need not piggyback off of the ATX anymore!

We need to take over our city, and set the ‘Tone! Who’s with me?