This past weekend was quite eventful and amusing as we had Texas Relays going down in Austin. I have never been and figured since I heard it’s the last time this is gonna take place in the ATX, why not see what it’s all about.
It’s almost impossible to sum up in a small story what I have observed. I figured, I would give a brief rundown of the things that stuck to mind the most. Pardon in advance the abruptness and randomness of my thoughts as the loud statements of what I and my friends witnessed is hard to make a sense of.
Apparently, it’s O.K. to….
- Get out of your Buick (with basic rims) at a red light, jump on the hood of it and do something along the lines of a Dougie and a Stanky Leg and when people ask what’s the point of it, the man replies with “Because I’m real!”… Not really sure what the connection is there so…Alrighty then, LOL
- Have a block party at the nearest Shell gas station… Man, I knew I have been missing out on something big these past years…*shaking my head* – hahaha
- Have your doors, windows and trunk popped as well as porn is playing on a 32 inch TV screen that barely fits in the backseat of your car, as it is slowly rolling through the streets.
- Wear the shortest and smallest dress you could possibly find at the nearest store because you got curves and you want to show them off…Sweetheart, um…that’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
- Wear nothing but a cutoff tank-top and pantyhose with no panties…*yikes*
- Dry hump the nearest guy you see at a club because he might just be a football player who is gonna make you his side chick and might be willing to pay for your meal at an iHop after the clubs close down.
- Imitate a blowjob in the middle of a dance-floor because you do it better than the next chick …Real classy! *rolls eyes*
- Approach a guy on the street and say “I’m not a queer but you are the prettiest n**ga I have ever seen…” Whoaaaa there buddy, I’m with the dude, go away…also, you may want to go and get some tooth implants while you’re at it…I think you’re missing a few.
- Grab a random girl’s hand and say, “Come holla at me lil mama…”…How about don’t touch me and how about I’m not interested. We are not in a meat market! Use words, don’t grab!
- Ask for a phone number and say “I will call you and you need to come through” just because you are Ray J…Um, seen your sex tape buddy, not impressed.
- Grab a girl’s hips as hard as your hands could and imitate doggy style…Yo, how about keep your boner and bedroom moves to yourself. Just because you bought one drink (that I didn’t ask for) and I smiled, does not give you a privilege of thinking of what could be…cuz guess what, it ain’t gonna be nothing…yep, I said it…double negative!
*Deuces*[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]